Yesterday I told everyone on Facebook (and anyone else who would listen) that everything I painted on Tuesday turned out to be crap and would have to be gessoed over. I also told everyone (anyone who knows me knows that I don't keep secrets, even from strangers) that I would stick with it.
During Tuesday's painting session, I fought down moments of panic where I was briefly convinced that whatever I once had was gone forever and I would never finish a good painting again. As you likely know, this is a horrible feeling for any artist and we all have it from time to time. Some more often than others. I have kept an Anxiety Awareness Journal for several years after reading about it in one of Eric Maisel's books. It helps me to write in it about any anxiety I might be having about the artwork and it helps most when I use it at the beginning of a painting session. I hadn't felt the need to use it in over a year and yet I needed it today.
While I was writing, a couple of things occured to me. I have not really painted seriously since Christmas, oh, a little, hit or miss, here and there. But no long sessions like I usually do. Life happens you know. However, when you let things interfere with your painting sessions, creativity goes out the window. I know for sure that I need to make it a habit to set aside time and clear my mind for creativity to happen.
I need to welcome creativity back into my life and treat it like a baby that needs to be nurtured and cared for. Painting and I will have to get used to each other again, spend time together, get to know each other. Like a second honeymoon. I need to make this relationship a priority in my life and always make time for it. I think if I do that, we will both be happier.
Peace, love and creativity.